Sunday, March 04, 2007
Claustrophobic ...
That word is becoming more and more visible in my life. I feel as if my whole life is chocking me. I need change. CHANGE with capital more like it. I'm freaking 27 this year and I'm still staying with my parents. That fact alone is irritating me to the max. I just can't accept this staying with parent thing. In any house, there can only be one leader and one way of doing things. Clearly, I'm not the leader and thus the privilege of doing it my way is out of the question. What if I don't want to do it the way it's supposed to be done. No room for MY way?
That's not all. The house itself. It's full of stuffs. It's cramped with all things that should have been thrown out of the house so long ago. For reason unknown to me, it still sticking around. My room alone (if i can call it MY room) has all the crap from unused cupboards, tools, old books, lots of them and many other irritating things which crammed under every possible space. Under the table, in the cupboards. All these are choking the daylight of me. I feel suffocated for most of the time when I'm at home. That's not only in my room, things doesn't change much everywhere else. N privacy, that's a hard thing to come by. Something I get only when there's no one in the house.
The issue of staying out is something out of the question. All this is driving me up the wall. I'm such an introvert person while surrounded by these walls. Being told what to do, how to do n etc just isn't working with me. How did I end up being this way? I miss my campus life. I sooo miss it now. I made a mistake when I graduated and now I realize what it is. I stopped thinking for myself. Totally took things as they came.
@ 5:11 PM
A new, brighter beginning, just like the sunflowers.
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Am on a journey through time, growing older with all the accumulated life lessons. With mind painted with wonderful sceneries from the journey of life. This is a place for me to sit back and unwind myself. Hoping this home in the virtual land will someday be a time capsule for me to run down memory lane.
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