Sunday, May 09, 2004
Wedding Bells …
This was written yest nite, fresh from spending the day out…
I’m just back from spending the day out with my machans. It was like the guy’s day out. Well, it always has been guys day out, coz we rarely have chicks around with us. The reason is bcoz, not all the dudes have chicks n even the one who have, don’t bring them coz the girls complains that they feel lonely n out of the group. So after some time we decided screw that, n ended up having the quality moments of guys day out. Anyway today was one of it. Our guys day out tonite happened after a long break, a really long one. It has been quite some time since all of us managed to find the time to meet up. So today was something special, well the main reason we all kinda met up was bcoz Vinod’s sis gave birth n they had some prayers done at his place, so we were all invited.
Talking about the special day, one of the machan announced to the group that he’s getting married at the end of the year. We were all damn happy n congratulating him n all for the big step he was goin to make. It was damn exciting, the fact that one of the dude from the group has actually have made choice of commitment for life long. After that, we all went on this numbering each other kind of shit, on who’ll get married first, second n so on. Well it was fun n all at that time. But now sitting in front of the comp, staring at the screen thinking of that particular statement, I feel very confused n lost. Though the confused feeling could have been induced by the alcohol, I for sure know that the confused feeling is also due to my feeling of insecure of my current situation. It’s like, I’m asking myself, “Dude, what the fuck r u doing with ur life?, What do u want to achieve? What’s ur plan? Where do u see urself in 5 years down the road?,” to be frank, I don’t have answer to any of the question. N that is what freaking me out. What’s wrong with me? While all the other dudes r thinking about their dreams of family, properties, wealth n etc, I’m sitting here like a wanker with no plans or whatsoever, taking life as it comes by. Every single day is a journey for me, no plans, no expectations n thus no disappointments. What a waste. Aaaanyway, this announcement of the wedding n stuff have put me in thinking mode, “Where am I really heading???” Unfortunately I have no answer to that question. Commitment is definitely out of the picture at this moment, maybe I should b looking towards getting my Masters done n maybe get as much mileage n exposure from my current job. Think, think, think …..
@ 10:19 PM
A new, brighter beginning, just like the sunflowers.
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Am on a journey through time, growing older with all the accumulated life lessons. With mind painted with wonderful sceneries from the journey of life. This is a place for me to sit back and unwind myself. Hoping this home in the virtual land will someday be a time capsule for me to run down memory lane.
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