Sunday, August 17, 2003
Quiet please …
Had a bz week. Was fully occupied the whole week with work, presentations and meetings. Work has been good, finally I got my own server for me to play around in the office. It’s really a kick ass server, a huge Dell rack server with hot-swappable HDD and dual processor. *Grin. N another thing is, I’ve finally changed all the speakers in the car. *Double Grin. The speakers actually set me back couple of hundreds, but I think it’s really worth the money spent.
On a different note, it came crystal clear to me, on why I always have had difficulties on establishing a simple conversation with my parents and why I’ve always been very quiet when I’m around them. I could never say what is on my mind when I’m talking to them. It’s because, most of the time I say stupid things to them n indirectly hurt them. I realized this when I said something stupid few days back to my dad n regretted rite after I finished the sentence. I don’t know y, I can never tolerate when my parents comment on my actions. Whenever they say something about my actions or comment anything about me, I automatically get very defensive and answer them back. Hurting them in the process of defending on whatever I’ve done. Due to this, I’ve always remained very cautious on what I say to them, in other words, I remain as quiet as possible whenever they have something to say. I find it very hard to think at the same level as my parents do. Yes they are much older n have much more experience in life thus putting them in a better position to advice me or guide me on whatever I do. But it’s seem to be very2 hard for me to accept this. More then once I’ve been caught on situation where I regretted doing something even after my parents have refrained me from doing so. I feel like a rebel. I guess, I’m just going through a crappy phase in life, where anything coming from the older generation are considered out of date or not in-touch with current environment. But the most surprising thing is that, whenever my friends have something to say about me (though it can be very stupid), I rarely get as defensive or angry as how I would be if it were to come from my parents. I get very impatient with my parents, rarely giving them second chance. Y oh y… am I being such a useless son. Whenever I sit down alone, I always think back n promise myself that I should tone down, and respect them for who they are and really show them that I love and care for them before the time runs out. But, pooof, everything changes after that self discovery session. Got to kick some sense into my head. I really do care for my parents and would love to b a good son to them… I got to loose this stupid temper of mine when I’m talking to them n b more patient with them.
@ 8:05 PM
A new, brighter beginning, just like the sunflowers.
:: About ::
Am on a journey through time, growing older with all the accumulated life lessons. With mind painted with wonderful sceneries from the journey of life. This is a place for me to sit back and unwind myself. Hoping this home in the virtual land will someday be a time capsule for me to run down memory lane.
:: Archives ::