Saturday, February 01, 2003
Went to temple with siva, kavin n kavi after work. No particular reason for this visit. The temple was really2 beautiful n the whole environment n setting of the temple reminded of one of the temple that i've visited in Singapore with my princess. That particular visit to the temple with my princess was a beautiful one n it's still very fresh in my mind. I managed to ask god quite number of question which have been bothering me for some time. Not so sure if i'll b getting answers for it, or if i'm ready to listen to the answers. While sitting in the temple, alot of thoughts ran through my mind. All the memories of my past just flashed past my eyes. It was really a painfull moment sitting there with my brains being flooded with flashes of things which might not happen again. I just realised that i'm willing to die, just to relive those moments, moments which i cherish so much. Just another chance.
Hmmmm, a person who fucked me up is back in the picture. Eventhough i didn't want to have anything to do with him for some reason, things r coming back. I dun know wat to think or how to react. He was my role model n i wanted to b so much like him, i even tried to act n talk like him, but then, he betrayed me, betrayed my trust n he broke something which i wanted to achieve so badly. I'm a person who can never forgive a person for something they've done to me, eventhough i've tried in the past to forgive n forget, it just seems to b very hard n almost impossible when it comes to this issue. This whole agony n mental torture i'm going through almost everyday is due to that. What should i do ? Who r to b blamed ? Am i part of the whole problem ? Can i go back to the day with my princess ?
Think this whole thing about me n my princess is getting me worked out to the max. Sooner later i'm gonna go nuts.
@ 12:44 AM
A new, brighter beginning, just like the sunflowers.
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Am on a journey through time, growing older with all the accumulated life lessons. With mind painted with wonderful sceneries from the journey of life. This is a place for me to sit back and unwind myself. Hoping this home in the virtual land will someday be a time capsule for me to run down memory lane.
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